Friday, October 3, 2008

To feel or not to feel...

This moment feels like, whatever. Yknow, kinda like going through a day where you feel like nothing really matters… you won’t care how you look like waking up with that pillow hair… let alone wonder what day is it really ‘cos you’re not looking forward to weekends or any days in fact. Then just smile at yourself in front of the mirror, WITHOUT being a usual cynic (who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing) and still not affected by the ‘do but happy enough with a comb over to start the day with…

And everything is fine.

It is not right to ask me whether I’ve gone bald or not, though that’s not entirely wrong to know the truth. But it’ll be more interesting to find out why do I always have issues with hair for God’s sake(?) Well, I’d like to know that myself so maybe we can just have an honest and a peaceful discussion without needing to pull each other’s hair ‘cos I just can’t afford to lose some more, thank you. Haha.

Alright, so that sounds familiar. Well yeh, this could be the 2nd post to that of previous one…the one on bad hair day thing, so to speak. Except that this time, I’m not gonna complain about my hair being whatever or someone else’s hair for that matter… (well, truth is, mine’s doing fine alright though STILL not that kind of amazing, either, but whatever). One thing really, I’m starting to grow my love for it alright. By just being generally appreciative and adaptive. I find this attitude amazing. It pleases me. Very…ve..ry… slowww..ly.

Gosh. It’s been a while since I felt like I was myself again. The usual different self, which has been “taken away” from me the as of late. Part of me was glad that I got to be another usual self more often; while another part of me just missed that old feeling. Why, it seems like I’m a two-faced woman now…but not an impostor, you see. I guess it’s just hard to justify when you’re arguing with yourself, really. And today I just read some random post on the net which gave me a totally unrelated feeling, where the writing was so real it felt like I was finally meeting someone with whom I could just sit down and have a meaningful conversation, though I'd likely just stare at that one person and listen intently with tears in my eyes. It feels amazing. No kidding.


So today’s lesson: Nothing is final. One day you’re high. The next day you’re low. You might have a funky, expressive, or awful haircut today, but soon it will grow into something else, something new and random. Maybe you grew up liking pop music and boy bands, but now you like a specific mash up of Electronic & Classical. You might decide you don’t want to smoke cigarettes anymore; that it’s just not who you are. Perhaps you were madly in love last week, but woke up today feeling comfort in solitude, without a desire to be held.

And everything is fine. Not finAL.

Tomorrow is another story- I might not be feeling like I am today… but I do believe that the future is so bright that I just gotta wear em shades and feel awesome.


Just let your inner light shine forth!


Right on,
r_L

28 comments:

Hariry Ariffin said...

:)
All the best for the final ya. :)

rajanurhazirah said...

ALL THE BEST TO YOU TOO, MATE! :D

mohdrafie said...

Salam lebaran dari Cardiff, UK.

rajanurhazirah said...

woah. rafie! how are you, man?? haha. the last time i heard from you being away for soo long. now you're back...glad!hehe. so nways, hows raya overthere? hope you have a good one ;D

izzahismail said...

zira,
happy 'eid mubarak ;))
maaf zahir&batin!

Akmal said...

Zira,
Alahai~~~hahaha.
Bila balik UIA?
All the best for final.

rajanurhazirah said...

izzah: thank you. selamat hari raya juga. forgive me if anything yeh? :)

akmal: ahaha. just what exactly does that mean yeh? :P nways, i'm going back tmr... eh silap, it's tday oct 4(!) mau dok umah lg (T_T)

mohdrafie said...

hi. I'm fine. It has been a long time isn't it? :D Still celebrating Eid here. Moved to a new house and planning to do some Eid Open House soon. Hope ur raya is going well so far.. C ya

L said...

Yanks that hair! Hahaha...
I'm finally glad. Kinda.

Wot if tomorrow is another today for a week? Then only we start to complain?

rajanurhazirah said...

mr: yeh. me had a good one here as well. back to college on the 4th day of raya... got exams, so basically just had em done and over with (dont ask HOW please) lol. nways, looking forward to seeing more of your stuff :D

rajanurhazirah said...

L: haha. most probably...YEAH. but would you still complain about something that seems like a routine now? well, maybe to some extent...but i guess we'd be too tired complaining then.

meanwhile, "get used to it" may sound a tad cruel...but it's not so bad when we put a few things aside and tryna make the most of everything else :D

*okay, so i'm not sure if i'm making any sense now, but that's by the by lol*

Benz said...

this is awesome... haha, 1st tym masuk da kagum.

nice blog ea... =P

rajanurhazirah said...

benz: oits. good to see you around here. ehe, xde la biasa2 je content. i see you have one as well. good job :D

MuniROsmaN said...

cool.

L said...

I didn't even know what I meant by what I wrote. I just found it related... LOL.

Let's go for some grass!

rajanurhazirah said...

munir: :-)

L: LET'S GO FOR SOME GRASS!!! woohooo~

MuniROsmaN said...

Makcik, after reading 3 times, now i understand this post.Hehe. Love the 'lesson for today part'.

grappy mewlon said...

radja..

mggis kim salam pbl kat ko..

huehue

rajanurhazirah said...

munir: haha. no worries, mate. it took me days to understand it myself lol. so indeed, you're far better! glad you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it ;D

grappy mewlon: oit. pakcik. psang kem salam! eheh ;B

L said...

He didn't even say he enjoyed it! Cow.

MuniROsmaN said...

i did enjoy it tho. :)

rajanurhazirah said...

lol. okay, justified! btw, leah...WHERE'S MY GRASS SANDWICH??? :B

L said...

Ok, listen, I might have done something wrong regarding the above... psssst (you should know, if you can't figure, I'll tell you when I pass you your sandwich!)

rajanurhazirah said...

L: weh, sila online skrg ;D

grappy mewlon said...

radja..

i oredy hav my blog ma..

come2,visit2..

hahahah

rajanurhazirah said...

eheh. visit suda! :)

L said...

CAUGHT ya online behind my baaaaack!

mimie_t said...

i love today's lesson. Looking forward to reading more. :)