Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Oh yeah, me having a good time, no worries.
Happy Eidul-Adha to all Muslim fellows. Have a joyous celebration! ;-)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Current track: Hachimitsu
… but before that, I’ve gotta go through this nothing-mini-about-this-mini-test-thing.
Then only we’re talking! ;-)
So best wishes to all those test takers…
and pray for moi, s’il-te-plaît! >,<
Friday, November 21, 2008
I believe that humans tend to appreciate things better in little quantity. Or when it doesn’t exist at the moment when we want it so badly. Kinda like getting half a scoop of ice cream now at this ungodly hour, perhaps I’d be more than happy.
Alright, so getting half a scoop won’t suffice. I just belied myself.
Then again, I believe in the goodness of Life- of random kindness. And of things. I believe in whatever you choose to believe in. I believe in your decisions and dreams. Yes, I might believe in just about anything- because I’m a damned believer in all sorts of goodness. And it feels so right and natural.
For some reason, I know the fact that by just believing isn’t enough. Eventually there’ll be a moment when your belief is put to test- whether or not what you believe is real or just what it is that you really believe in after all. But all I know is that whatever happened to you in the past is not happening now. You will be safe behind your honest decisions and mood swings, I promise.
…meanwhile, from another dimension- I sense that Love has begun to remove the clothing of Life and granted you its naked perspective. The beauty of the naked difference is gloriously vast. Be inspiring or get inspired. Love looks good on you ;-)
Happy Friday, all of yous.
p.s: Happy 20th Birthday, Kamilah ( yes, I know it’s been over a week!)
p.p.s: .....and have a glorious 20th birthday today, Anis ;-)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sounds like: Valerie by James Morrison (originally by The Zutons)
*To grappymewlon, (pe name ni weh? haha) thanks for the tag!*
1. I’m a fickle-minded woman and a lifetime sufferer.
2. I take pleasure in sophistication through plainness. The outcomes aren’t always pretty but I’m enjoying the beauty.
3. I love reading/writing all sorts of poetry/ haikus/ conundrums/ prose etc. Yes, I’m a romanticist who’s indifferent in the society, thank you.
4. I’m terrible at guitars but it’s hard to keep my hands off em.
5. I've been writing since I was 9. A few editions of nothing unusual were documented. None ever published though.
6. I'm generally painless to those who know me. But people find it more common otherwise.
7. I love bananas. And I would know if one piece went missing. Call me berkira but no one steals my bananas unless my generosity kicks in! Haha. No hard feelings la :)
So that’s pretty much it. And by the way, referring to my previous post, the feedback I was getting wasn’t what I anticipated at all. Specifically about my singularity- that it was actually something to be discussed. I find it amusing somehow. But I wasn’t lying when I mentioned about my being single but taken in a sense. I meant every word.
Then again, aren’t we all taken in a sense?
So I am technically single for simplicity sake. But no single being is absolutely single as they rightfully claim to be. You are taken in a sense that you are loved by everyone (if not, by any caring person) and cherished by many wonderful friends. Sure, it seems like you are pretty attached to every single being in your life, yet not quite like it. You are free to run and live your own life like no one else’s business- all the while trying to fall in love and be rejected. I am taken in a sense that I belong to God; as do all dominions belong to Him :-)
Okay, so this is not just some usual sense. This is a special kind of sense. But I AM special, so are YOU.
I guess you shouldn’t have taken me literally. Or maybe I should have been less complex so to speak. Or maybe I’m just crazy by definition. Gosh, I’m such a pain in the a** after all.
But do you believe me now that we are ALL taken in every sense?
Yes, I am taken… so are you!
*kudos to Anis*
See you soon freaks,
Friday, October 24, 2008
What should you be doing right now?
Friday, October 3, 2008
And everything is fine.
It is not right to ask me whether I’ve gone bald or not, though that’s not entirely wrong to know the truth. But it’ll be more interesting to find out why do I always have issues with hair for God’s sake(?) Well, I’d like to know that myself so maybe we can just have an honest and a peaceful discussion without needing to pull each other’s hair ‘cos I just can’t afford to lose some more, thank you. Haha.
Alright, so that sounds familiar. Well yeh, this could be the 2nd post to that of previous one…the one on bad hair day thing, so to speak. Except that this time, I’m not gonna complain about my hair being whatever or someone else’s hair for that matter… (well, truth is, mine’s doing fine alright though STILL not that kind of amazing, either, but whatever). One thing really, I’m starting to grow my love for it alright. By just being generally appreciative and adaptive. I find this attitude amazing. It pleases me. Very…ve..ry… slowww..ly.
Gosh. It’s been a while since I felt like I was myself again. The usual different self, which has been “taken away” from me the as of late. Part of me was glad that I got to be another usual self more often; while another part of me just missed that old feeling. Why, it seems like I’m a two-faced woman now…but not an impostor, you see. I guess it’s just hard to justify when you’re arguing with yourself, really. And today I just read some random post on the net which gave me a totally unrelated feeling, where the writing was so real it felt like I was finally meeting someone with whom I could just sit down and have a meaningful conversation, though I'd likely just stare at that one person and listen intently with tears in my eyes. It feels amazing. No kidding.
And everything is fine. Not finAL.
Tomorrow is another story- I might not be feeling like I am today… but I do believe that the future is so bright that I just gotta wear em shades and feel awesome.
Just let your inner light shine forth!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
ANYWAYS, BACK TO YOU PEOPLE... (dearest classmates especially) :-)
THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN GETTING A NEW
please click here for more info!
Okay, that's it. I'm done till the next post :-)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The sky is my favourite. It’s the perfect background for anything that comes between it and the ground, while the sun is just a powerful element…its light is so fantastic that it’s able to brighten up the entire sky. Plus, the clouds are just as amazing- they work like white brushes; running free across the sky yet they create a massive art like nothing ever created. Subhanallah. It’s miraculous how God’s creations work in silent, yet the upshot is overwhelming.
One late evening.
Have you not seen how God makes the clouds move gently, then joins them together, then makes them into a stack, and then you see the rain come out of it.... (Quran, 24:43)
Monday, September 1, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Okay, that aside, here is a random picture I took years ago, while I browsed through my old collection :)
I was in my final year of high school when I took this picture. I remember that I was late for school but somehow managed to take this one with class while on the run! Lol. Anyways, it still looks awesome just the way I remembered it. Of how the morning smelled like fresh grass and yes, the cool breeze. It really feels good recalling the moment now though, perhaps… especially so. It was one of the best mornings I ever had back then. If I were to worry about being late at that moment and just walked away, I definitely wouldn’t have the chance to talk about how amazing the morning was. I’m just glad I took the picture otherwise.
Unfortunately, though, I don’t take as much pictures like I used to, now. And I’m not sure when will I ever start again. In the meantime, I just box them skies with my fingers…true, the sky is too big to fit into the frame but there goes my imaginary camera. No films needed, just some space of your photographic memory...then, pray that the beautiful moments will stick in your head for as long as you breathe and let live :)
Alright, so pictures just do me wonders. No, rather God does. And I love surprises and coincidences. I love them even more when I don't pass them off as luck, but rather recognize them as a sign that my life's course is right on track.
And for all those countless blessings around me, I thank You God for the Heaven and the Earth.
Anyways, speaking of which- it’s strange sometimes how dreams get under your skin and give your heart a test for what’s real and what’s imaginary. Yesternite, I had a weird dream as if going to bed mad about God knows what. I prolly would have had it written if I knew what it was about, but I just couldn’t remember. Lol. So I spent a few long minutes this morning calming myself down and apologizing to my soul and her sisters for my dreamy outbursts. Along with this journal post of chasing down the absurd, a long shower and healthy meditation have brought me back to earth. Should I relapse after this I’ll just take myself spending. This page is great for that.
I peeked open the drapes and the most powerful of white lights burst into the room. It looks humid, but a beautiful day to have off.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Ahh, meanwhile, I’ve been struggling- doing my best here as much as I can. True, it’s been hard adjusting but I’m not giving in. So things are just getting started and that maybe, I’m not pushing start yet. I just realized the very fact that it’s actually difficult to make balance of the things you want to strive for in this life and of course, the next life… which I believe, it is almost and perhaps, the most logical thing to say that it’s even more difficult to fulfill something important without denying or striving less for something which also appears equally important. It can also be described as in another situation where it is impossible to completely fulfill one’s right without oppressing or denying the right of others. The bottom line is: you can’t make everyone happy…or yourself happy as always, but that still depends on how much you’re willing to sacrifice your own things to get all that, be them anything (without having yourself killed, of course, as in this case- that’s the limit) and deep down I know I haven’t given much as a Muslim.
Alright, so I believe some might think that I’m being overly depressed now as they go on reading these lines… I tell you what, I AM NOT. Lol. Even when you want me to, really. So stop analyzing my feelings from this point forward when I’m pretty sure I know what I am feeling or not feeling. I’m not always negative about myself, but even so, I don’t expect myself to be all positive and optimistic, either. Why, it’s hard enough to be it and stay that way. So I breakdown a lot these days, I don’t eat well and that I may not read enough or too much. But I AM giving myself some space indeed- a space to relax and spread out. Not too much nor too far… just about enough. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your concern I do. And trust me, if anything, I am the most grateful person on Earth to be cared about but just please, don’t treat me like I’m some kind of problematic and impossible kid to deal with who needs special and undivided attention. It’s just that one has to know that different people have different ways of being at ease. Who knows, I might go crazy and be at peace. Haha. So being crazy is another thing, but you get my drift lol. Now that you know the fact, don’t tell me “to cut me some slack” when you don’t even know what that means!
Saturday, June 28, 2008
So I may not be around here as much as I want to.
But anyways, I'm glad to have been here all this while :)
So many thanks to each one of YOU for keeping me here (or away)!
...until the next post,
Friday, June 20, 2008
Anyways, here I am, a well known food thief… y’know, the one who sneaks out for some "light snacks" in the dark, particularly at midnight when everyone else is asleep. Or perhaps just a room refrigerator breaker. It’s not like I’m craving or anything *rolls eyes* but I just feel like eating. Lol. Leah thinks I eat a lot, while Dad suggests that perhaps it’s a lot more normal to see me eat that much. I somehow “solve” the problem by coming up with a typical excuse that I bet no one ever believes- that I’ll marry a chef someday… living by a weak basis of marriage where he’d cook for me and feed me like a princess. But they would definitely buy it, if the guy left me the next day for no reason. Lol. Alright, so I eat like a horse, yet not a vegan… I EAT A HORSE or possibly anything. From a whole cake to crumbs, I’ll have them down like nothing else. I’m a small woman, blessed with a giant appetite in me. So marry me, please? ;)
All crap aside, I had a great time with Leah today. We talked like there’s no tomorrow! Which is true by the way. I won’t be seeing her much until God knows when. Too bad she had a spill of sambal or chili paste on her cloth when we had nasi lemak for breakfast, which funnily gave her a new T pattern on it- an absolute identification. Like, everyone, I’m a woman. Can you see my uterus? LMAO. So she wished we never met today. But I guess she prolly just realized that it didn’t take much to make my day anyway. XD
So alright, just as I thought these ideas were oozing out, they sounded lame the moment I had a second read. It’s 2.29 AM in the morning and these brownies taste sooo good.
I’m a butt of all the jokes,
God, make me wonderful!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Given everything contained within, it's fitting that Coldplay decided to saddle their new album with two seemingly disparate titles (it's called Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends, in case you weren't aware). Because if anything, it's the most bipolar thing they've ever done. Lol.
Then again, I forgot how much I loved them. They were the sound that I grew up with. No kidding. And I'm still upset about the rumours that have been going around- of them disbanding(?) Trust me, I'll cut every tongue of those who said such thing! All I know is that they'll only continue to rock on the music planet-
"We won't do another album until we think we've written the best songs in history, and that could take a while," Martin said. "So we could be waiting, 20 years or 50 years. Who knows? Our next record seems like a long way away."'
There you go!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I needed something funny. To laugh my ass off. And needless to say, this one worked. Why, Jason never fails to keep my sanity(!) Then again, I meant nothing so as to offend the Creed fans and the like...
But really, I was totally "moved" by this one. A brilliant impersonation. Haha.
Friday, May 2, 2008
This is the first strip that mentions Susie Derkins. She's pretty much the girl that Calvin has a crush on but makes fun of as to remove any question of the fact. This strip also shows how much of a smart-ass Hobbes is, which kicks ass.
Yep. You heard me right. These little creatures are amazing. Just baked them a few hours ago. And they’re extremely melt-in-the-mouth wonderful and marvelous. The making wasn’t so difficult either; I managed to have it done within an hour. With a few personal touch and fun-tastic prune flavour, this is indeed a record I must say! ;-)
Sigh. Not sure if I could keep them till tomorrow, though… let alone Sunday. (Oh hey, twinnie, I’ll leave you a square… with extra crumbs on it. No worries.) Haha.
All in all, I am just glad I have achieved something today (yeh, I was bored to tears throughout the week!) So what a relief, finally. Hmm, to those who’d like to try some of these, my word: give it a shot. It's really worth trying! Haha. Alright, I didn’t create the recipe myself… so, here’s the biggest secret: Jamie is my brownie saviour!!!
Also, you can get the recipe here: http://www.jamieoliver.com/
ALL THE BEST!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I know that people of all ages enjoyed Calvin and Hobbes, but I have to think that it meant even more to those of us who grew up with him. Going to school every day and seeing all the ways we didn't fit in, it was nice to see someone like us, who was intelligent and independent, and didn't need to be a smile-plastered Mouseketeer to enjoy life. Though numerous motivational posters and guidance councelors and after-school specials had said it again and again, it was Calvin who managed to truly express the idea—without being preachy, without being sappy, perhaps even without trying—that it was okay to be different.
What makes it one of the great treasures of our culture is its ability to invoke emotions that you never thought you'd spend on a comic strip.
This one's positively touching.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Well, speaking of which, I’ve just started my short semester before I finally graduate from college (then off to med school, hopefully). And I’ve been experiencing these awkward moments. Again. Not in a bad way though. Just awkward, as in trying to fit in with everything and everyone around you after a while. Well, being home alone during the holidays and not meeting enough people kinda explains all that. It almost feels like taking a caveman out for a walk around the city. But it’s not as shocking you see, it’s something I have quite expected in fact. Maybe I just don’t know how to react when these things actually happen. So, yeh, awkward is just the word!
By the way, despite all that craps, I really have to thank some people who’d been there, especially when I was at my lowest point. I’d have to say my parents were the best counselors. They knew me best (absolutely) And yes, special thanks to Leah, for making my life easier! Haha. I couldn’t have done it without you, love. I don’t care what you feel upon my making this public, but hey, I have to say it otherwise! (Now don’t tell me to stop saying thanks because it’s my page I have them written on, so the words are rightfully mine!) Hehe.
All kidding aside, let me just say a few things, since I can’t really explain what’s going on with my life right now… I still can’t find the right words(!) But you see, life is a funny thing. Not ha ha funny, but ironic funny… I’m not complaining. Just making an observation. And yes, adding to that, through my weirdest life’s experience recently, of course. But one thing you guys could relate to at the very least, is the fact that nothing is ever so definite, and that you never choose something… in a funny way it chooses you! But despite the outcome, one still needs to go on, and live life to its fullest. Make every second count…
“If I knew all the words, I would write myself out of here… if I was all the colours, I would paint you pretty in gold in a picture…” – Jason Mraz.
All in all, I’m just so grateful for the life I have now, and yes, for every single thing I had had experienced throughout my whole life! It all seemed like a beautiful letdown to me now. I met all kinds of strange and wonderful beings. And through these personal experiences and studies I became aware of the infinite possibilities I had in life; possibilities so powerful I was convinced I could do anything I dreamed. Then, spread the news of love with someone special.
Ahh, things aren’t quite as scary when you’ve got God as your best friend ;-)
Monday, April 7, 2008
you were once
my April sunrise
taste of hibiscus tea
on your lips where
in a warm soup, enticing;
letters of the alphabet
hang on a teaspoon-
screaming, in fervor
dancing, in desperation.
once burst in April rain
unpainted in space,
in pain, it seems.
Friday, March 14, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ME THAT AM YOU(!)
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Ahh, I’m writing a prose now it seems. Maybe my life has been it, these days. In fact, there’s quite a few things that happened to me, lately. Things that seemed unimportant, unrelated, unexplainable, yet mind boggling kind of things. They were united in a conspiracy to keep me from the peace I had promised myself. And being just 20, (yes my love, I’ll be turning 20 soon) there’s no real reason not to be. Though I have yet seen the difference of being awesome-and-20 and awesome-and-wish-I-was-20, then again, no rush. I don’t think I look forward to finding “new beginnings” or “sweet closure” in this time of life. I realize that there’s no such thing after all. Things begin and end all the time, and you know it. Yes, you do. And sometimes, life does pass us by, unnoticed.
Sigh. I loathe this subject. I do. Yet, I can’t help but write a few more- about the coming of age, etc. It makes me feel like an old bag, really. But somehow, I do feel that there’s a need to have it written in the end. Ahh, it’s sort of a depressing subject matter for a posting- but life isn’t all fun and games eh? So anyways, I’ll try to keep my perspective in view and just be myself, mostly (!)
So here I am, thinking about myself and the years I’ve gone through. To be honest, there’s nothing much I could recall, really. Not even the things that I thought I would and I could remember. It’s like having new brains that need programming for the first time. Sigh. I’m such a doofus, really.
But all kidding aside- being young, as I see it so far, is perhaps, something that you won’t understand until it’s gone from you, and then it will come in flash, leaving you a little wiser than before. You won’t be lonely, you won’t be unhappy, possibly there will be a great peace and security. You’ll go on, you see, as others have gone on, just that and no more. You’ll love and live, and the rest of it. But because of stupidity, or carelessness, or a belief in the lasting glamour of things, you’ll throw away what you wanted to throw away when you feel hopeless. I guess you won’t notice any difference. You won’t know what you’re losing. And you won’t care.
Then again, I won’t let that happen. True, life is not that easy and that I’m not always happy. But I do feel much happier now than I have ever been. Though it has not all gone completely- the restlessness, the indecision and also the great heights of exultation, and the strange depths of desolation. Neither do I feel secure now, nor certain of myself, as of yet. But I know there is peace and contentment, lying around somewhere. Waiting to be found by me and the rest who deserve it.
Of the people I knew, and the things I had learnt,
There were only phases, and no more.