Tuesday, July 12, 2011

For beginners only.

It does feel like a year end. Since my course always begins and ends around June, so half a year seems like the start of something new or the end of it. But we’re not here for a long time. We’re here for a good time. Life is a constant pattern of remember forget, remember forget. Today I met a good old friend on facebook and we just had a decent chat. You know that kind of feeling when you meet someone, whether an old friend or a complete stranger, you feel like it was the best conversation you ever had in years? Especially the kind that just makes you want to do well in life? I dont know, but some people have that kind of effect. The feeling just floors on me everytime I think about it. It’s awesomazing.

Anyway, I realize I haven’t written for a long time since I began writing. I have spent so much time doing other things and nothing at all. Birding has been my latest distraction since my partner introduced me to it. I’m a real beginner. I was once a common tree watcher who slowly took interest in the world of birds out of curiosity. It took me a while to get the hang of it but it was really fun after all. It does keep my mind off things and just be closer to nature. I don’t know, but birds can be very interesting to watch. Their activities encourage us to stop whatever we're doing and watch them as they flutter around, eating bird food (be it seed, fruit or nectar), protecting their young, building their nests – and more. Plus it’s a great way to relax and enjoy some quiet time. No matter where you live or visit, there are always birds to watch and enjoy.

Going through half a year makes me feel like I haven’t done anything much worth half a year, though a lot has happened really. In fact there were many life turners happening at one time that I couldn’t keep up with some of them sometimes. But I got through them thanks to my loved ones, for whom without I wouldn’t manage to get this far. I thank you for your support and unconditional faith in me. Being a beginner in many things makes me realize how important God is and those around you.

I remember talking about these things with mom. Having mom around is always fun. The more we hang, the more I learn about my family history and what she was up to when she was my age. And of course she gets to learn more about my life and we speak like adults who are fond of each other, each with new & old wisdom to share.

I am who I am today because my mom encouraged me to do it. If you have kids, or if you work with kids, or simply have access to kids (but not in a creepy sort of way) don’t wait for them to decide what they want to do. Encourage them to try it all on. I worry our kids are racing to be adults when what I mostly see around me are adults racing back to being kids.

Perhaps I don’t make sense at all. But I am grateful for everything that I have in life now, knowing God has made it better for me everyday. The tools I rely on to keep me awake are everything from mothers to strangers, suffering to positive stories, retweets to sweet foods, reflection as prayer, and smiling as a form of relief. I've seen many ideas born and many ideas perish. I've lost things and relatives to the untimeliness of passing. And I've known kids and cancer alike and at present the score seems to be even. Thereby I choose death just as I choose rain. It simply is - and it is so. And just as I acknowledge I am - I let go.

Well, summer is in now. So keep your sunny smile and shine on! Begin doing something. We are all beginners. We haven’t done this before. You haven’t been you on this day before. I haven’t been someone’s solid rock before. I haven’t been me at 23 before. Maybe I still haven't, but I'm getting there. Each day is new and we’re all allowed to fall down as often as we need to. It is through these mistakes and fumbles that we’ll likely get it right next time.

Keep it light.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

#Rant 101

So here I am spending some of my precious Saturday morning hours in bed, writing away to you know who about you know what. Well nothing mysterious about that; thought I’d be more creative in telling the usual stories of mine a.k.a rants while keeping you busy to read on. Wink.

I guess the page is lacking more and more life since I don’t know when. Or perhaps I was just being unenthusiastic to share what has been going on in my life as it has been getting more and more personal. And when I say personal, it does not necessarily mean I’m all messed up or too busy catching up with stuff. In fact, life has been good and that I’ve been receiving a lot more blessing than I have ever been up till now. Alhamdulillah :)

Well I feel that when you have some goodness happening around you or to you, it’s best shared with everyone else who deserves the same feeling and thus, a celebration of joy. I have been through many wonderful experiences as of late and met many amazing people- even falling in love with some of them. The world’s pleasure is too much to be kept only to yourself that you can have so little at one time; but if shared with everyone else, it feels like you have a little bit of everything at any given moment. Ain’t that awesome?

I can’t remember the reason why I first started writing up this blog. Was I trying to prove anything, believing I could channel my thoughts into something better? I highly doubt that. I rant because it’s fun I could care less if I ever made any sense at all. Or was it because out of boredom? That’s more likely. It doesn’t matter though, I still don’t see why I’m doing what I’m doing sometimes. Many times I went to my room to get my mobile/books/you name it- anything, I'd completely forgotten about the task. I could blame it on where my mind had wandered - but this always happens. I walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. Maybe I'm so over the past and so in the moment that freshness finds me around every corner. Or it's a classic case of short term memory loss brought on by too many hours gazing directly into the sun and the amazing sky. What was I writing about?

Or maybe this is the reason why I blog after all- I just love to write. I guess Love is back in the season. It’s back in a different form, with more energy to fill you up with and a lot warmer this coming summer. I may just change the blog title to Lovemovesthroughyou, as I feel love is in the movement. But maybe not. God is Love, Compassion, Blessing in Himself and thus owns the many eternal attributes that defining Him as Love alone won’t do justice. So God stays :)

Speaking of which, it’s already February and I’ve almost forgotten about my coming age. I’m turning 23(?) soon and I resolve to be more resourceful this year (this was actually last year’s brought forward) because it’s the perfect beginning of my day. If anything, I would love to see how my creativity just grows and floors on me with time. And I believe writing is one of it. It excites my brain cells in different ways yet I feel my inner self interconnected with my surrounding. I feel more alive when I have the freedom to talk when I write and be honest about it. I am more myself when I let my inner strength shine forth. It is as good as being around your loved ones and let loose.

The last time I got home it was both sunny and rainy. Everybody loves the sun. It just brings out the best in them. Rainy KL is like a wet old dog. It smells like shit but you've been friends for so long you can't help but feel a little love.

Oh yes, I’m planning to come home again soon. So are you :)


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Saturday, November 13, 2010

To err is human, to arr is pirate.

Look what I found on Google today :)