Tuesday, July 12, 2011

For beginners only.

It does feel like a year end. Since my course always begins and ends around June, so half a year seems like the start of something new or the end of it. But we’re not here for a long time. We’re here for a good time. Life is a constant pattern of remember forget, remember forget. Today I met a good old friend on facebook and we just had a decent chat. You know that kind of feeling when you meet someone, whether an old friend or a complete stranger, you feel like it was the best conversation you ever had in years? Especially the kind that just makes you want to do well in life? I dont know, but some people have that kind of effect. The feeling just floors on me everytime I think about it. It’s awesomazing.

Anyway, I realize I haven’t written for a long time since I began writing. I have spent so much time doing other things and nothing at all. Birding has been my latest distraction since my partner introduced me to it. I’m a real beginner. I was once a common tree watcher who slowly took interest in the world of birds out of curiosity. It took me a while to get the hang of it but it was really fun after all. It does keep my mind off things and just be closer to nature. I don’t know, but birds can be very interesting to watch. Their activities encourage us to stop whatever we're doing and watch them as they flutter around, eating bird food (be it seed, fruit or nectar), protecting their young, building their nests – and more. Plus it’s a great way to relax and enjoy some quiet time. No matter where you live or visit, there are always birds to watch and enjoy.

Going through half a year makes me feel like I haven’t done anything much worth half a year, though a lot has happened really. In fact there were many life turners happening at one time that I couldn’t keep up with some of them sometimes. But I got through them thanks to my loved ones, for whom without I wouldn’t manage to get this far. I thank you for your support and unconditional faith in me. Being a beginner in many things makes me realize how important God is and those around you.

I remember talking about these things with mom. Having mom around is always fun. The more we hang, the more I learn about my family history and what she was up to when she was my age. And of course she gets to learn more about my life and we speak like adults who are fond of each other, each with new & old wisdom to share.

I am who I am today because my mom encouraged me to do it. If you have kids, or if you work with kids, or simply have access to kids (but not in a creepy sort of way) don’t wait for them to decide what they want to do. Encourage them to try it all on. I worry our kids are racing to be adults when what I mostly see around me are adults racing back to being kids.

Perhaps I don’t make sense at all. But I am grateful for everything that I have in life now, knowing God has made it better for me everyday. The tools I rely on to keep me awake are everything from mothers to strangers, suffering to positive stories, retweets to sweet foods, reflection as prayer, and smiling as a form of relief. I've seen many ideas born and many ideas perish. I've lost things and relatives to the untimeliness of passing. And I've known kids and cancer alike and at present the score seems to be even. Thereby I choose death just as I choose rain. It simply is - and it is so. And just as I acknowledge I am - I let go.

Well, summer is in now. So keep your sunny smile and shine on! Begin doing something. We are all beginners. We haven’t done this before. You haven’t been you on this day before. I haven’t been someone’s solid rock before. I haven’t been me at 23 before. Maybe I still haven't, but I'm getting there. Each day is new and we’re all allowed to fall down as often as we need to. It is through these mistakes and fumbles that we’ll likely get it right next time.

Keep it light.