Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Goodbye for now..(or a while)

..Well, yea that’s about it. I’ll be off from now onwards, since I shall continue my study at IIUM, doing pharmacy course. (Yes, new life after life!!) Haha, don’t ask me how I’ve made the transition so far (it was hellish alright) as I’m still dealing with it but I guess I’ve gotten better of it. Yet uh, I don’t really know what to expect from my new beginning, but I pray there'll be a good surprise waiting for me. And more promising rainbows hidden therein hopefully. Ay, am I prepared for it though? Not much, but I daresay I’m all set to go now. For better. And for worse (God forbid). So wish me luck, alright? Though I can’t promise you whether I’ll be around here as much, but I’ll try every possible chance to keep this page updated. I’m pretty sure by now that I won’t be having this kind of time in future but hey, don’t give up on me, people!!

..and here's a goodbye, old life *sniff*sniff*

Of Thoughts Having Flown

...*sighs* okay, so maybe sighing isn't really a good way for a start. But I have to somehow do it. For my sanity's sake. Anyways, I’m quite ambivalent right now; having both bad and good feelings about myself. Or maybe, my future to be precise. I don’t want to go through times wondering about my choices again, or how I deal with them . I'm sick of it, ay. The fact that my being indecisive so many times really wear me out. I’ve had enough with my mind battling for what is wrong or right, or living with the weak opinion every now and then. I know I have to somehow put an end to it. Otherwise, I’m not going anywhere. Maybe, all this while, I’ve been avoiding the truth anyway. Or maybe I was too afraid to deal with it, predicting the fact could be really ugly or worse. Or just maybe, I’ve been making out excuses myself. That, alone is painfully true. Ay, when will I really learn the truth? Just what could I really make of myself, indeed? Why, this could go on and on...

“Time flows regardless;
the world’s unchanged while she lies

..yup, I am she. So help me God.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Social Misfits

Well, speaking of school the other day made me think of the society, the life and the bittersweets. I’m pretty sure that everyone had had their special moments no matter how much we hated school. So what kept us going? Friends, ay. There were many kinds of group friends back in my school. From popular to barely visible..there’s almost no chance of being alone. (Trust me, I’d seen many actually shifting from one to another, haha) Well, to me, I personally feel that popular people may vary but usually you’ll either be the public’s eye because of something you do, like sports and leadership and any specialties or that you simply want to stand out from the crowd in just any ways. (owh, I remember what these people are called: capub, as in cari publisiti if I’m not mistaken).On the other hand, the “invisibles” are not left out. No offence, but they actually made a good crowd back then. Only that I didn’t bother to know what kind of things they were up to because I had too many of my own. I loved glamorous tasks (why not?), but I could also live backstage. I had a circle of terrific friends of all kinds (yes, all) and I lived with them just fine. Owh, well what about me? Which group did I belong to? Let’s just say I had put myself in a crowd called “the average”, no more no less. ;-)

Good Day, people~~

Well, did you notice how people tend to patronize each other? Often we hear that every morning when we go to work people say, “Good morning, how are you?” to which we say, “Fine, and you?” and they say, “I’m fine.” Well, there’s no denying that there’s nothing wrong with the statement but of course, I’m usually not fine, nor are they. But social etiquette demands that we pretend because who wants to really admit they’re not fine? Huhu, well I think tomorrow morning I’m going to reply to “Good morning” with “What’s good about it?” just to see what the reaction is. I’ll probably be castigated and excommunicated and all that stuff, but hey, I can live with that…*not that I want to be mean with everyone*. I don’t think I could be mean with anyone. I’m too happy to be mean anyway. But I’m not always fine. Sometimes I am, though, but not always. Ahh, what am I saying now, lol* By the way, have a wonderful day, friend…and anyone else who might be reading this. (Now, now, what’s wonderful about it..??) Haha.
me loco,

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Of frets and socks

Well, I had a good laugh upon reading what one of my poet friends, Don had to say upon replying to Pip’s previous thread regarding some social issues. I found his words very true.

"I cried because my socks had holes in them, then I saw a kid who had no shoes"..."I cried because I had no shoes, then I saw a kid who had no feet" ... "I cried because I had no feet, then I saw a kid who had no legs"... It never ends. There is always something worse... Strength of character overcomes all, but some characters haven't enough muscle, and some do (of course) ... "I cried because my socks had holes in them, so I went to Wal-Mart and bought new ones"... This comment is not meant as critical or laudatory, it's just a comment. It has no meaning really. Socks that have holes in them are ok if the feet are tough enough..."

...well said, Don.


I've just browsed my favourite haven, It's a place where I could read and share great poems or thoughts with people around the world. Beautiful people with brilliant minds. Huhu, well I've been thinking of creating my own page one day, where everyone (especially my poet friends) could gather around sometime. Well, not that I can't have one now, it's just that I have lotsa other things to be done at the moment. You know, first things first. But maybe, I will still have that done one day..( God willing) Y'know when I have all time in the world and be around terrific people in my life. Who knows? But well, it's almost seeming impossible with what I've just chosen as a career of my life right now. Hmm. (Yea, that's gonna take me years, yes years) Haha, now now, let's put an end to it. Well, I'm just saying that that site is amazing.

So please, take your time as you wander about the place. Though you may not really enjoy poetry, just look around. Who knows, you may find something useful eh? And if you're interested, just become a member and write away!


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

School Memoir

BACK TO SCHOOL: yup, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing. I mean, there’ll be a special school occasion on the 30th June 2006, Friday. It’s the Golden Jubilee Celebration 50th of Sekolah Tun Fatimah. Well, school will turn 50 very soon. There’s nothing much to brag about the years, really. (Though half a century could really mean something lol).But what matters most is that the memories it has kept since 1956 until now. Why, there’s been a lot of changes as well- generations after generations, ups and downs, rapidly changing educational system, etc. etc. Almost everything’s changed for the better. While some still remain for the well-known trademark among the students and the teachers, like school routines and some language terms which has created our very own “school tradition”. Anyways, back to the programme, there’d be a TF Award Ceremony on the first day of celebration (in which I’ve been honourly invited..not arrogance, just a fact), then followed by some events and tahlil prayers. Well, too bad I can’t stay for long because I’ve gotta register at the matriculation centre of IIUM the next day (ugh, that’s when the celebration gets more exciting). Well, you know what they say..we can’t always have things both ways. Sad, but true. *sniff*sniff*

Of rain, happiness and bad feeling

Well, it's been raining here since this afternoon. But thankgoodness, it's getting light in the evening. (Otherwise, I won't be here by now). Hmm. I guess it's not really a good thing to talk about "bad weather" for a start, eh? Then again, I have to say I've had a good feeling since this morning, so technically I didn't really have a bad day, alright. Never mind, I should be grateful for this one day, knowing that some days are better than others :D And that not everyone, especially people around me who are all feeling okay, now. Why, I'd love to cheer them up but more often than not, our happiness could make others sick. (You know what I'm saying, aite?) Well, this is what I tell myself at times like this; mum's the word. Just keep your happy feeling to yourself and lend your ears. Sweet words could help a bit. Not too much (just trying to be realistic here). If you get offended when all you wanted to do is HELP, don't get even. Keep your cool and give them some space. Well, you don't want to have a good day turned bad now, do you?, now...looking out of the window, my happiness is fading away slowly lol. Well, I can't help but wondering, why it's still raining, (though not heavily)..could the Earth be so sad? :-(

Life is a series of commas, not periods.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006 here's to you.

...ahh, finally I got through this thing. well, let's just say having made this one for myself is indeed a success. A personal success, indeed. Why, this blog thing has become the in thing now. It's sort of a must-have kinda thing for everyone. (Well, now that i've finally got one but unfortunately a little later). Anyways, apart from the rough side, I'm just glad to be here, right now, this very minute to sort of uh, "reorganize" the whole thing, which I believe I had never made a post or a tiny change,whatsoever. So to those who've been checking out this site for quite sometime (I believe none ever has, though) : many, many thanks and my biggest apology for not updating (at all). And to those who haven't: oh why, don't bother ;)