Sunday, December 31, 2006

...just nice*

Okay, so maybe I’ve been right all along. There are more good people than bad ones.

En fait.

Come to think of it. This morning, I woke up a bit late and realized that today is Eidul Adha. And I was still in bed. (uh, that’s not the nice part, though..I’ve not come to see the real good side of life, yet). Downstairs, I'd already been swept off by the good smell of the hot, steamy fried rice and peppery chicken curry and later, the sweet-sour smell that was wafting from the laksa pot. I savoured every moment possible, knowing that this occasion comes only once a year. The taste of teh susu was strangely wonderful today. As if these weren’t good enough to make me blow, minutes later, my mouth watered again as my mom served the special desert of the day-, which was pulut and kuah durian(!) Uh, okay. There, I’ve come to the nice part. Uh, the food was indeed, a nice part, but no, that still wasn’t the “real” nice part anyway. What I meant to say is that, if you think the foods were awesome, so was the cook. Yup, she. My mom. The fact that she managed to cook so well (and I could only be of little help) was totally outstanding. Despite feeling exhausted from work and all, she could still handle things. And not just things here, ay. Loads and loads of nice things. Just how is that possible? How can she give and do so many nice things for us? I mean, how nicer can she be? Most nicest possible.

My point is, you can still see the good or nice things people do around you. And to you, especially. But we barely notice these “little things”, let alone appreciate them, the people you love the most- family. Personally, as much as I love my parents, I just can’t show them how I truly care about them. Not directly, though. Well, egotism is not the issue here, nor am I being disrespectful, it’s just that I can’t really show my affection towards them. I’ve tried to tolerate my “stubbornness” every now and then, but God, it’s just hard. So, I stopped trying at all. I thought, maybe, I will one day. So, in the meantime, I’m just being good, like every kid should. And it doesn’t really seem like a big deal to anyone in the family. Hopefully, I think. All in all, I guess everyone (including me), we certainly have our own ways to deal with people- love, hate, shown or not, is perceptibly subjective. Family has always been my first priority and they are the ones who truly accept me for who I am.

Sometimes, when I think about everything and everyone I’ve ever listened to, I’d have to say your mom has had the biggest influence on me. So maybe, here’s what you could do for me- Give her a high five, will you? She's amazing.

..and owh, Happy Eidul-Adha, everyone.


Of words coming back*

...welcome back. I mean, I’m back to my not-so-mindless self now. So smack me if I burble*

Anyways, it’s almost year end… uh, it is today. Whatever. I wish this year could have ended differently. Well, it did in some ways, but not so good, “globally” speaking. Sigh. I was surprised but not impressed with what I heard on the news about Saddam Hussein- the fact that he was sentenced to death penalty (to be hanged, that is) because of the “crimes” he did. Well, I wasn’t so sure about what he did back then, but whatever the reason was, it was not really a good way to end whatever “pains” he could have possibly caused to his citizens or maybe to all people nationwide.
...but then, it couldn't have ended any other way. Sigh.

Well, there were numerous responses afterwards- some were relieved, some just called it fair, and some thought it was very inhumane, while the rest was undecided. Generally speaking, there could be various reasons to all speculations, from politics to humanity- but I, I have no absolute reason to justify, as a matter of fact. I only have questions in mind. Tons of them.

Last night my sisters and I talked about this and we were wondering, “ So, this is it?” , “ Does this mean no more U.S troops coming over to Iraq “to promote peace”? No more bloodshed?” , “ Will they ever leave Iraq alone?” which we silently retorted, “ No! This is only a beginning”. It was as simple as that. The death of the president of Iraq doesn’t stop all this. Nor will it make any difference if it were the death of other so-called “terrorists”. There’ll only be more and more violence each day. And we know that. Yes, you and I, and all the unbelievers do believe that for a fact.

...which is so sad and very depressing. ((sigh))

I remembered posting one poem , regarding politics, to this old community of mine. The title was– My Politik. In it, I mentioned, or rather questioned the kind of politics we have in the society and why it’s still going "strong"... I’ll have them posted here, later* (so remind me)

I was amazed to read the feedbacks from my fellow poets and was ever glad to see that they actually understood what I meant. It occurred to me that despite all the differences, we do share a common ground. Never did I feel so pleased to express my innermost thoughts than I did at that moment. It was amazing to just listen and talk as if we could put everything and every piece back in its place. And it felt so right.

Ahh, otherwise, this is just a minor sign that there are more good people than bad ones. A teeny-weeny sign. But it’s a good one ;)


Saturday, December 30, 2006

Of Words Gone in love,

Friday, December 29, 2006

BLOGGING CRAZE (..and why it never ends*) part II

...aahh, I think I begin to understand why and how people can be so serious about blogging- it’s not the attention that we are trying to get from the viewers, really (though for some, yes). Personally, I feel that it’s the feeling of contentment or self satisfaction for the things we write about that matters the most. I guess it doesn’t matter what kind of stuff we write about, whether or not it makes sense at all, because I believe, the fact that we are able to write out whatever we have in mind and finally have it written with whatever expressions (ridiculous, unpredictable, name it, anything).. is simply amazing! Don’t you think?

D’oh, why, I think it took me long enough to figure this one out- how blogging can bring about the best of you (and of course, the worst). It’s really funny sometimes when I read some of my previous posts from time to time. Some were plain silly (well, I think most of them, haha) but also, I’m surprised to know that there were some of which I find very amusing- some pretty good things that I thought I wasn’t able to write, ever. But I did, anyway. (Not arrogance, just a fact) Well, there were a few words that could bring me back to my old thoughts and let me laugh over the bittersweets. Wonderful isn’t it?

Not only that, I’ve been to some of my friends’ pages, just looking around. Frankly speaking, they do have pretty good stuff to offer. I loved every bit of it- from writing to music, just any stuff, really. Well, it finally occurs to me that, though we all might live in different side of the world, we do have something in common-we talk and listen to each other, we write things and share the differences, we laugh and taste the feelings, we love to dream (so much) and fret about our daily’s . Well, as trite as it sounds, it’s not so usual, either. To me, to be able to read and feel the words expressed by others are one of the most wonderful things in life. It is as if I were shifting from one shoe to another- from flip flops to high heels and dirty boots, and sometimes, I am left onto the ground with nothing. Barefooted.

But oh, it still feels great!

To all bloggers and viewers- kudos for your wonderful effort and support. I personally am grateful for all the amazing posts that you wrote and all the great things you do. It has always been a pleasant journey to walk into your life! So keep on writing...


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

..d'oh it's raining(!)

6: 02 am ( KC 306)
Le 19 Decembre, 2006

It rained this morning. No, not that heavily. Just light rain. Smile. Well, I always thought that rain was a sign of melancholy and how it used to reflect the gloomy side of me. Hah, indeed. But not necessarily this time, especially this very moment. I loved the sound of pitter-patter and the cool breeze that brushed against my cheeks as I drew my face closer to the window. It took me a while to notice the rain that was coming down though, since the creaking sound of the rusty ol' fan filled the whole room. Somehow, I was glad that I was able to distinguish those two sounds and savour my two-minutes-of-sanctity. Despite the obscure feelings that I’ve been having these days, (and which I always have anyway*) I’m just so glad that I’m ALIVE, today. It’s a little too early to predict how my day will go though. Still, I will try make the best of today and see how’s tomorrow. And, for that reason alone, I can definitely survive today. Yes, I will.

In confidence psyche,