Happy days to the me that am you!

Sounds like: Who Needs Shelter by Jason Mraz

I feel so old-fashioned. Lame, in a fashionable sort of way. Not bored. Just old-fashioned. I don’t know what gives nor do I care if it gives what it gives. I see no purpose in reasoning. Another time, it feels like I just want to go out in the sun and do whatever I like. No, not like a mad woman or anything. Nothing of the sort. It’s just that I need something interesting in life to happen but there’s none. Maybe next time I run into a neighbour, I should give him/her a high five and ask, how are you NOT doing? You know, just to see the reaction, otherwise. I know I might be excommunicated and all, but hey, I can live with that. Haha. I’m such a doofus.

Okay, so back to the blog, thanks everyone for your patience. I feel there’s a reason why I seldom blog these days. No, not excuses. Just one ultimate reason, god knows what. Maybe blogging has become more and more personal each time I try to write and post a few. Although I think it has been about that all along, but I don’t know. My life experiences told me that some things are better left unsaid, or written, in this sense…that those things are to be understood by me, only. I know it sounds selfish, and rather foolish for those who wonder why not? After all life is about sharing, and this is the purpose of blogging, I realize. But I can’t justify, really. As much as I love telling every bit of what’s going on and whatnot, I somehow feel the need to save some parts of the stories. The only thing that’s left for my own point of view. My property.

Well, I don’t ask to be understood because I don’t think I understand myself, either. Though it is a nice feeling to have someone understands just what you’re going on about. Yes, it is a nice feeling. No doubt. Until that happens, I think I’ll be more content than I am now. But I will place no hope in it. Even if there is a chance, who knows what I will do with it. Blow it? Push it away? Or not noticing it at all? I know I will be disappointed, either way. Gosh, I’m just it. Fickle, yet somewhat fixed.

Ahh, don’t you think this is more like “the other parts”, declassified?

Me-out.

Untitled as of yet

Room 347
Mood swing: I'll Do Anything by Jason Mraz

Not that you care, but it’s been a week since my new semester began. My final semester here in CENFOS (renamed after the old MCIIUM). I mean finally, the graduating semester. Nothing extraordinary happened on my first day though, just new/old books and friends. Apart from that, my parents are now in Mecca, performing Hajj for a month and a half. It’s been 5 days since. 5 days. Wow, that’s almost a week eh. So maybe I thought another 40 days would be alright. Thoughts turned to prayer. I handed them a digital camera so that they would take some pictures of those beautiful skies. That would be very nice. I hinted dad to buy me Polaroid in return. I knew I should be aware of his real purpose, not mine, yet I took my chances… hoping it was alright. Personally, Polaroid is the best picture taking device one can possess to get the best ever real life pictures. They’re instant, fresh and so natural. You don’t have to have special skills to be taking good pictures with it; you just take it. To be able to take really “good” pictures as in non-shaking, high quality stuff is a different story, though. But the whole point of it is to be there yourself and just capture those beautiful scenes and people. And Polaroid is just a plus. Aww-some.

Speaking of which, I’ve been visiting this old crush of mine- Mraz’s page. Yes, that pathetic lovesick, psychedelic geek. Unfortunately I’m still in love with him to a point that seems… pointless. You see, who wouldn’t fall for a guy who “could be lugubrious” with you? Boy, he’s such a heartbreaker. Lol.

But here’s a question, courtesy of Mraz’s friend.

Would you rather:

…Be planted in the ground, rooted like a tree in front of a breathtaking natural landscape for the rest of your life… or,

…Travel the world forever under the conditions that you had to leave the city you were in by 2 o'clock the next day and couldn't return to that city for 3 years; able to see the world but always moving locations at 2pm everyday.

Hmm…

Au revoir~

I’m not going to say anything much in this post. Just some farewell and a few more words before my college reopens. Though I’ve done a lot of fretting about my boredom throughout this vacation, I’m not so crazy about going back to college either. Sigh.

Anyway, like it or not, I’ve already started sorting out and buying stuff… so as the packing, unpacking, and repacking. I never realized how ice cold my brain had been until I dusted off the books and skimmed through whatever data they have inside. Yeah sure, it all came back smoothly and brightly. Heck. You kidding me? It felt like I just read them for the first time. Meaning, zero memory capacity. Pfft.

Now don’t give me this I-told-you-so look. I could sense it coming from your breathy laugh, alright. Apart from my not feeling so great now, I’m still crazy about listing things. Especially when I’m not feeling at my best. Catalogues help, too. Although many see them as paper wastes, others still pick them up and browse through the 6 pages with real interest. Some might even get carried away and too trusting that they easily fall for whatever 2 for 1 or crazy discounts offered; only to leave behind some grocery bags (with freebies, coupons, etc in it) around the mall. Talk about a nice shopping spree. Alright. I’m one of those people.

Well, I had some enjoyable time doing those jigsaw puzzles lately. But the joy didn’t last for long since I couldn’t stand completing them at one sitting. Alas, Mza didn’t want to play with me anymore because it seemed to her that I had a hard time structuring the border and that didn’t really help the whole picture. Okay, so she did most of the puzzle. I rest my case. She was amazing. I sucked, totally. Haha. And that wasn’t the only time though. I actually gave up origami long ago because I find it impossible, really. Things I thought I could be pretty good at turn out to be my worst encounters. It occurs to me that I can do possibly nothing. Even my walking around the house in my flowery pants seems to be a fashion crime these days.

How can what feels so right be wrong?

Nonetheless, it was what I hoped to achieve on my vacation. I was looking for a challenge; which I realized that entertaining boredom itself was far more worth a challenge. I was looking to reunite with dear friends; just to know how everyone else was doing. I was looking for a place to get a star tan; that is the nights are so bright here sometimes you can see a night rainbow. It’s right here, at home. I was just looking for some more of me and to remove some unwanted bits as well. Not to be separate, but to dissolve some worries and get a lot closer to the oneness that one needs to have Love. I came to savour my peppermint ice cream alone, merrily. And learn that Life is but a dream.


We live in interesting times.
I am 7049 days old as of today.
God, I feel awesome.

See you soon freaks,
r_L

Not thinking. thinking too much.

23/06/2007
12:06 am

807. My soon-to-be room number, located on the 8th floor, just below the top floor of the block. I bet the view is splendid. Great. I’m happy. It’s amazing. Blah, blah, blah. What a good start for the day and a sweet wrap up for my vacation. Damn it. A few minutes ago I had this nice plan going on about my fresh start as a 2nd year when my curiosity made me look up for my new room number. I was stoked as much as nervous. So I browsed through the site and searched through my personal account. There it was, appeared right under the Mahallah Information bar saying I am to be placed in room 807. I was agape. Are you kidding me? Never have I felt funny than I did at that moment. My previous room is 306 and it already felt like a lot of stairs. And 807? I felt victimized.

You must be wondering, why not take the lift. Sure, I can always use it. My only concern is that there are only 2 of them, utilized by almost everyone living in the block, consisting of wings A, B and D and some heavy garbage carts that need going up and down every morning. I know they’re pending for great repair. Sigh. Poor device. Lucky to those in wing C, granted that they have a lift of “their own”. So the competition is less stiff. Don’t ask me how funny that is or what kind of building I live in because I could care less now that I’m in wing A, so zip it.

I remember the first time I had to take a lift- I was amused. It seemed like the lift was too old to ever give anything or anyone a lift. Funny as this may sound, but there is a certain spot where you should be standing on and there shouldn’t be more than 7 persons (with average size) in it. Otherwise, the lift door fails to close and you will remain where you are, neither going up nor down. The buzzing sound will never cease until someone who’s kind enough to leave. Now, this is the fun part. There would be some kind of staring competition going on before that among the lifters (those in the lift) until “the one” left.

So what makes you “the one”? Simple. You either get in late or when it’s almost full. I was both. One day I was running late for my class at 8 so I took my chance to take the lift. So when the door opened, I saw more than 7 people in it, giving me this “don’t-you-dare” kind of look. It should have occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one running late, but I couldn’t be bothered. I stepped in as lightly as I could, playing feather fairy. I was pretty sure my empty stomach helped. I smiled at my sweetest as the door closed. I knew I wasn’t “the one”.

…until it reopened 3 seconds later. And started screaming.

“Raje, ko berat la”

Someone told me from behind. Thank you, Atty. I moved and tried to find the “right spot”. Unfortunately, there wasn’t any. All taken. Heck.

“Raje, ko berat la” there she said again, half staring, half laughing.

I couldn’t say anything but smiled for a second. Half sorry, half embarrassed. Ready to leave. I was the one. Indeed.

Situation is never conducive when you want it to be.

Happy 30th Birthday Jason Mraz :-)

Suffer!
red_lice