Thursday, June 14, 2007

the much awaited post

2:18am. Dark in the house. Dark in the room but the computer light shows that nothing stands between me and it so I stride gracefully through the blank space. I throw on my headphones as the system warms up. The San Diegan Singer, Jason Mraz is on stand-by to play. But I'm not pushing start yet. I'm enjoying the quiet the headphones make being in the ear but not on. I love Jason Mraz though. I'm tempted. But I know I'll become distracted and not want to write. I'll likely dive into Zuma or anything else and get nothing accomplished.

It seems like a month since I made a progress on an obvious one-liner that says, “ NIL post for May!”. And just that. *shame* There was no real reason for my not posting a new thread or rather, making any effort to write just about anything. In fact, I did absolutely nothing during the first 2 months. I was too busy figuring out some real things to do all the while trying to put my intuition back into practice. I guess there’s no point in writing anything out when my judgment is more or less worthless. Sigh.

By the by, something did happen during those idyllic episodes of my life alright. My days weren’t that all static or boring as I might have normally exaggerated. Sure, they all were equally interesting and all. Well, maybe not that all amazing that I could write a book about it, duh− you get my drift. The fact that I could still talk about it but not want to is very disturbing. I just wasn’t in the right mind. Still not.

It’s been half an hour since my fingers are typing these words out. So, I’ll just let them run over the keyboards for a few minutes more. I don’t think these extended whatever moments help me figure out what’s going on or that I’m able to write anything wonderful for that matter. In fact, I’m just writing more non-purposive craps and just keep going. To know what it feels like…ahh, this mere moment of nothingness.

All is quiet. Headphones on. Still nothing playing in them.

And for all that we can hear at this hour and for all that we can see in the darkness, we are thankful. For life really only exists at this moment- when nothing really feels as good as to be at this very minute; to just smile for no real reason.

Everyday is Sunday when you’re unemployed.



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