Thursday, May 7, 2009

I need a reason to reason.

There’ll be moments when you don’t feel like writing anything even when you think you will or just have that sort of motivation. So I was inspired by many things and people recently. And proudly have written nothing about them as of yet. Procrastination is the word. I’ve been putting off writing to the public because my sentences as of late have been scatterbrained and incomplete.

Anyways, I don’t think it’s a bad thing when you don’t feel awesome. Awesomeness may not be something you feel everyday, but that’s fine. The existence of other feelings is perhaps, just to make you miss the old feeling of being awesome. That it is something special and not just any other feeling that you can get now and then. Rather, it needs to be lived and cherished as much as possible when it is felt. Otherwise, you’ll still experience something else. Something different or equally awesome. So it’s not at all bad, really :-) 

Now a random but rather obvious question yet questionable…do you think that everything happens for a reason? 

One thing for example- I love medicine yet I don’t know why exactly I’m loving it. 

I guess the desire to do it gets stronger each day but the reason just wears away. Maybe I just want to go home someday, thinking that I have done something right…that I have actually saved somebody’s life. Hmm. No superficial nor profound motive. Just that. 

As much as I believe in logic and all that statistics, I still hold on to intuition and its 'practicality'. I believe in God’s mysterious way of making things happen and call it hope. And I do believe there’s reason to everything… some are just known to us, some are understood at last. Some are fathomable, and some are just plain complex. But most of the time, it is right before us, we just need some time to think it through. So there is such thing as the “right” moment to realize it. Understanding isn’t something you can get by observing the outcome, but by living the outcome. It is not something you can work out easily only to find out if there’s any meaning to it, but perhaps, time is the only thing that’ll make it meaningful. And that it is not simply a wish, but rather a gift to those who deserve it.

Oh maybe I’ll go see fireworks, someday… and that’s because I just want to see them. 

... or prolly get in touch with an old friend, like a scoop of ice cream. Well, I need no reason for that. 

Rock it. 



hanafiah said...

"the desire to do it gets stronger each day but the reason just wears away" em...yeah, i felt the same way too..and i often ask if evrything happens for a reason, but i usually assume it does, what u had done will lead to where u are today, but stil, various factors played an importnt role too, but sumtimes, theyre beyond ur control

okay, u need a reason, when u just do something u like, u dunt need aint reason, girl, nor u need anyone to tell u any, u like it, and dats it.

awesomeness? yeah, its ok if u're not awesome...susah la kan nak hebat je memanjang kan? but, i ges u're awesome enuf. Being a medical student, of course apart from the hadships, miseries and tight working schedule u'll face, I'm certain, there are tons of things that can drive u. U can help people, and not any one can do that, plus, u're working with one of God's best creation, kan? so, i think, dis reason alone is very gud enuf to give u a reason, to drive and as a supplement of awesomeness for you.

Haha, I'm sure, this is just one of the trivial matters u'll face, so gudluck mate (ok, we're strangers after all, saya tk kenal awak pun)
may u'll always be awesome, like you always had :)

rajanurhazirah said...

hanafiah: i thank you for your time reading this post. much appreciated, really :-)

greyellow said...

i just wanna laugh here
can i?
nothing funny about the post
is just that I have too
*still laughing*

crazy woman reported