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Here are my top 3 disorders:

1. I have a thing for words. It seems, whatever I do, I’ll try to describe the moment or feelings in my head. And it’s very frustrating if I can’t get it right. Such a permanent disease.

2. I love acronyms. I don’t know how or why. But it occurs to me that when I like things or people, I’ll give them acronyms. Say, JM as in Jason Mraz… CP as in yes, Coldplay. It kind of drives my sisters crazy because I start to give acronyms after their favourite artists, too. Like, CBR as in Corinne Bailey Rae and DR as in Damien Rice. Let’s see, the reason why I do this maybe because I feel more familiar with such calling and that it sounds easier… well, doesn’t it? Haha, I don’t know. The rest doesn’t seem to agree. They just don't get it, otherwise.

3. I crave for food while other girls prefer shopping for clothes. Take my sisters for example. Yup, they all love new dresses and stuff while I could be fairly unaffected. Not to question my sexual orientation or what, but I don’t know why I’m not so crazy about getting a new wardrobe. Hmm, maybe not, as of yet. In the meantime, I swear I would give up a brand new shirt to something called food! No kidding ;-)

So to those who care to share your "behavioral disorders", you're tagged!

orderly disordered,

r_L

Sweet Childhood

I like kids. Yes, they can be pretty handful sometimes. But I love them anyway. I remember being a kid myself. I remember all the feelings and the moments. I always have a good laugh upon recalling the childhood with my family and friends. Those moments are meaninglessly funny and important to me all the same.

So when I look at the kids these days, I could somewhat see the differences and the similarities. But most of them are pretty much the same. Just a different breed year by year, a much cleverer one. And of course, luckier. The demands are higher and much more expensive. But that’s what the kids all do. We used to demand “the impossibles” and whine until we get what we wanted. What differs is the things that they have now and the things that we had back then. As much as we envy the comfort that they are living in now, but in truth, we were kids once. We felt and did the same thing.

Though I’m particular about teaching some lessons on morality, I don’t like seeing all the pain and disappointment that some pass on to some innocent little kid who didn’t ask for it and who doesn’t deserve it. Being a kid myself once, I remember all those feelings; the disappointment we felt when promises were broken and the sad feeling when we failed at something. Those bitter moments now seem like a beautiful letdown to me. The only time I began to understand every other feelings, which is a wonderful thing.

What I also realized is that as my year goes, nothing is extraordinary to a child. Maybe when you are a kid, life is still full of wonder that there can be no real surprises. Or perhaps, children just adapt faster than adults. Thanks to current technologies and modern pressure, these newborn babies are ready to develop a smarter lifestyle than we think. I can’t imagine what the world looks like to them, the future babies. Could they be living on their own by the age 7 or 8? Haha.

One thing for sure, though. When I was a kid, I thought that my parents had some secret knowledge about how to keep me in line and bring me up alright. I thought that there was some kind of a great master plan to make me eat vegetables and go to my room when I was told. But I was wrong. I knew now as I watched some parents. I began to slowly understand that they were doing what every parent in the world does. Just winging it.

When it’s your own flesh and blood, you don’t have to think about doing the right thing. You just do it.


Still a kid,

r_L

x&y

Boy, I can’t help it when I have nothing to worry about but music. There’s this sort of “happy mixture” of Coldplay’s X&Y going on in my head right now:

First, comes the Square One:

Is there anybody out there who
Is lost and hurt and lonely too
Are they bleeding all your colours into one?
And if you come undone
As if you've been run through
Some catapult it fired you
You wonder if your chance'll ever come
Or if you're stuck in square one

Then, there’s White Shadow to haunt me:

Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted in a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you've seen it
Maybe if you say it you'll mean it
Maybe you'll find you're completed
In a permanent state, a permanent state

… and more Talk:

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they’re talking it to me

Finally, the not-so-hidden track of ‘Til Kingdom Come:

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'Til Kingdom Come
Until my day my day is done
and say you'll come and set me free
just say you'll wait you'll wait for me


…I might as well think I’m drunk. Ick. Definitely.

Of "real" bad hair days

Speaking of bad hair days, there’s nothing unusual about it. Literally speaking, I have had bad hair days every now and then. Yes, we’re talking about real hair here, ay. Haha. Some days my hair is exceptionally gorgeous and other times it’s just mad (!) Ahh, why bother? It’s hardly sensible most of the time. For now, I just can’t wait for my hair to grow back. As in, really grow. The problem with my hair is that it’s stubborn. The curls are crazy at ends and I don’t know how Yana finds it adorable. She told me (or rather joked) that I could go modeling with that hair for Kerastasè, which I think not. It’s not so “Kerastasè”, as I wish it were. Just not fashionable enough to be…well, fashionable. Hmm.

So, as I was saying, I could not have wished for something better than having a well-trimmed, manageable hair. My sister suggests that I should go for some kind of a hair treatment someday, when I really have a great need for it. Just anytime but now. It seems like I might not need it now, but the desire to go for it is eating me up bit by bit every time I see myself in the mirror. My hair is freaking out, alright. And that kinda freaks me out too. Haha.

Say, if I were to have that dream hair of mine, how would it look like? (Hmm, I once thought of having a straight hair, but then, I might look boring with the plain mode.) So, maybe, here’s what I’ll do- I think when my hair is long enough, I would like to keep the curls and maintain the length. And of course, it has to be manageable. Duhh. Would I like to give it some colour? Sure, let’s give it some attitude…I think, rainbow looks cool. Haha. Just kidding. I’m still happy with the current black hair (which turns somewhat brownish when exposed to sunlight). I just like to keep it natural, otherwise.

Oh, have I thought of going bald? Yeah, a few times…but y’know, that only happens when you really wish you didn’t have any. Haha. Maybe, I would go for it if I weren’t so levelheaded. Uh, I’m not talking about Britney if that’s what you’re thinking. She’s going through a lot now, just a real tough time for her. So, we might as well just leave her alone at the moment, ay. I don’t want my happy hair story turn sad now. Lol.

All in all, there I’ve said it. Pretty much about my hair, that is- what’s hot and what’s not. But, that is not to say that I hate my hair altogether. It’s just something I would like to talk about, which frustrates me sometimes. I bet we all have something to say about ourselves that we are not so crazy about, huh? Maybe a lot more. Who knows, we can exchange tips- gimme the "super shampoo" and I’ll tell you how to bake pies. Haha, gosh, I’m rambling now. I know, I know. I’m just trying to be more positive towards my hair alright. I mean, I might love my hair one day.

I might love my hair one day. So help me God.

Ahh, it’s such a relief to pen the word otherwise- love, love, love…

lice free,

r_L