Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Happy New Year~

I had a blast on my first day of New Year- I went out with my girlfriend, Cik Yana ( the kind of calling we use for each other) at the not-so-great- MidValley (we couldn’t think of other place since everything was a rush). Well, I don’t intend to tell you every bit of the details (though I’d love to) –just so you know, it was overall… awesome. Grin.

Frankly speaking, I did not want to go. No, you didn’t read it wrong. I did not want to go. Okay, maybe "not wanting" sounds too strong, but I was uncertain on going for several reasons:-

Reason 1: I have exams.
Reason 2: I have exams.
Reason 3: I have exams.

..alright, I lied. Just one reason. One BIG reason not to go.

But I did.

Anyways, I promised to myself (profusely) to study afterwards (though I’m not sure if I could keep it) just to seek the “right feeling” before going. You know, we feel this at times… and it’s just in…evi...table. Smile.

So, when we met, it was like the world had stopped (as in really stopped). It seemed like ages since we last saw each other. Why, I missed her so much (!) Okay, so we talked. We ate. We laughed. We hugged. We walked until we broke. We did the all the 'usual stuff', except that we didn't watch any movie. Well, it seemed that neither of us was really up for it and that we apparently had a lot to talk about. *chuckle* All in all, we had fun. And I didn’t regret one bit about going out that day.

But if only Cik Siti were there, too. :(

…well, at least we had fun FOR her. (I’m thinking of sending her some of our pictures, later. Hmm.)

By the way, it felt really nice that we had so much to talk and that we couldn’t stop. Until the resolution thingy came up-..and the conversation went dead. As in really dead.

But luckily, it was just for 2 seconds. Then we both laughed hard. (I think the whole mall could hear us, ay)


So when I got home, here’s what I thought for my so-called resolutions:-

My Resolutions (2007)

1. I won’t procrastinate.
2. I’ll put more and more effort in every single thing I do.
3. I’ll live a great life.

Well, I guess my list goes shorter and shorter as the year goes. Why, I don’t see the point of making a “list” at all. I know this sounds very pessimistic but I just don’t see it coming. I think it’s a bit odd to suddenly plan your life in the beginning of the year and see how it turn out in the end. Personally, I feel that as you get older, the harder it gets to make ANY resolution. What I’m trying to say is that resolutions don’t work for me anymore. Okay, so there I’ve said it. At least, not much. Buy hey, if this works for you, go ahead. I’m just trying to figure out better ways to improve my ‘oh-so-unmotivated life’. Pun unintended.

Aih, I’m getting sooo old. AND pathetic. I know. ((Sigh))

Okay, so here’s what I think. Rather than making any resolutions, I’ll just do and observe. Yup, I’ll do what I feel best and see how it goes. If this is not going to work, either, I’ll just kill myself at the end of the year.

Alright. Just kidding, ay. *smile*

I love life so much to end it. Yes, at least I know that for sure. I love life as much as I love myself. So suicidal thought is the last option to end my life.

Well, okay, maybe, I don’t think I have loved myself much. Otherwise, all the resolutions would have worked in the first place. Hmm, maybe here’s what I’ll do- I’ll just have to love myself more and more each day. I believe, when I have loved myself truly enough, there rest will come along its way to find its place in me.

Ahh, now, now. That makes sense. Only that, it's NOT a resolution (since the word "resolution" has never worked for years)- I'll think of other name, just anything to keep the fantastic. ( So, in this case, I'll let you know later). Smile.
Just adding in:

To Cik Yana, if you're reading this, thanks so much for not only hanging out with me, but most importantly, for showing your random kindness and great understanding. To Cik Siti, though absent, we could still feel your sweet presence in both of us. You two know me best.

Happy New Year,

1 comment:

HRH Fiza said...

besh nye jumpe kawan lame~